When we first kissed that night on the balcony I felt like I was being really kissed for the first time.
I’d always thought it was amazing with Max and maybe being great kissers is an alien thing. With Michael it goes beyond that. It’s like our very spirits fuse when our lips meet. I could kiss him forever. It was kind of funny, because that first night Michael pretended to leave for my parent’s sake and then came back to my balcony.
He comes by every night. It's our time to be alone and totally with each other. We haven't told anyone else yet. When we work together at the Crashdown it was torture keeping apart. I'm not sure why we were keeping it secret. I wasn’t really worried about everyone's reactions. It was more that whatever Michael and I were to each other, it felt like this private, intimate thing. And so we weren't ready to share it with the world. And it was totally okay.
Although I was pretty sure that Max was going to take the news that Michael and I were together badly. He still kept hinting that we should get back together. I hadn’t found the heart to tell him we were so over. That the Liz Parker that had loved Max Evans died. She did, you know. When Future Max disappeared, the man I loved changed. It was as if he died. And the person I had been then, she changed too. I’m a different person. Maybe if I had never been visited by Future Max. Maybe if I hadn't been told to change things so unequivocally. Whatever we had was lost. It was a future that had no chance of existing. And in the life that I have now with Michael, I’ve found everything I was ever looking for and more.
Max offered to take me to prom. But I declined. I had a better offer.
Michael said he’d take me. It was so adorable how he brought it up. We were having dinner with my parents and Mom in a rare moment of coolness offered to go shopping with me for a prom dress. When I said that I wasn’t sure if I was going to prom, Michael was noticeably upset. But he didn’t say anything. Not until we were alone. Then he informed me that I’d better take my mother up on her offer, because he hadn’t rented a tux for nothing.
I was so surprised I didn’t even think to complain over his assumption that we were going together. I knew it meant that it would be the end of keeping things between us a secret. And that was okay, I wasn't ashamed of being with Michael. He is the most important person in my life right now, being with him is all that matters, privately, publically, it doesn't matter.
So I went shopping with my mother and found the perfect dress. The dress that would drive Michael wild.
Mom and Dad were really happy to know that we were going together. They even offered to sponsor the pre-prom gathering here at the Crashdown.
We all had a blast. We just goofed around. We behaved like teenagers for once in our lives.
Max and Tess went together, and I thought that might bother me, but seeing them together just reinforced the indifference that had come upon me. It’s amazing how my feelings have changed. the fact that someone I once loved so much can really mean so little to me is a little frightening.
The Whits performed at the dance. Maria and Alex were awesome; they’ve really worked hard at whipping the band into shape. And their songs were great. They were both in their element, doing what they loved best, with whom they loved best.
Kyle and Isabel were, of course, declared Prom King and Queen. It was perfect. They looked great together. And they’re perfect in the role of the school’s most popular couple. It was really cute that Isabel got Kyle to wear a tux that coordinated with her dress. They just completely looked the part.
And Michael and I…well, as expected we sort of came out of the closet we were hiding in at prom. We were dancing. And it was obvious that there was more between us than just friendship. (Michael danced just for me. That he would do something he dislikes so much so willingly only makes me love him more.) In any case, Michael’s form of dancing is just twining our arms around each other and swaying back and forth on the dance floor. After a while it just became the most erotic experience, it was as if we were challenging one another to see who would incite the other more. I don’t know who won, but I couldn’t help it I had to kiss him. So we were in the middle of the dance floor, the spotlight shining directly on us, everyone around us just gaping…
Let’s just say that when we finally noticed…when we broke apart…we were applauded in the way only high schoolers know how to show their appreciation.
Max didn’t take it at all well. I felt kind of bad for Tess. She had to chase him out of the gym. But Alex laughed at us and Maria winked and the band sang a song dedicated to us. And Kyle and Isabel were so wrapped up in their world that they didn’t even notice.
Michael gave me the perfect prom night.
We stayed up ‘til dawn. He took me out to the desert, to one of his favorite thinking spots. And we watched the sky change from night to day. And as the black changed into purple, reds, and blues of dawn, we made love.
It felt like my life was just beginning. The way I felt, I can’t even describe it. But now I am entirely Michael’s and he is entirely mine. With Michael I reached the stars. He gave me everything. He gave me his everything. And I gave him mine. It’s so hard to spend time away from him now. It’s like I know the other half of my very self is missing when he isn’t around me.
Our hearts beat together.
It’s kind of weird. But our heartbeats are in complete sync. Ever since we made love. It’s not like I know his every thought, but I know stuff. Impressions. Perceptions. Feelings. It’s odd. I assume it's an alien thing. But because it’s Michael it feels so right.
Everything in my life is finally right.
I’ve let go of my past and the future I could have had.
But the one that lies before me is so much better.