Thursday, May 5, 2016

something from the archives: after vegas - part 5

it's funny, i haven't read these stories in years. re-reading them now reminds me how much my life has changed. i'm not the same person i was then, but it's fun to get a glimpse of who i was through these stories.

more angst after the jump! and you can catch up with the earlier chapters by following the links to parts 1, 2, 3, and 4.

Part 5

*Liz's journal*

Do you think it’s possible to erase time? Not go back in time and fix the past so as to create a new present, but just erase time from memory. I just don’t want to ever relive it, or have to think about it again.

I already know this doesn’t work…if only Max from the future hadn’t thought it would be a good idea to destroy my one chance at happiness. Although maybe I’m over-dramatizing. Lately I see a glimmer of hope. But more on that later…

I caught Alex and Maria making out. I had gone over to Maria’s because it had been a while since I’d spoken to her.

I talked to Sean for a bit while I was waiting for her. Apparently she hadn’t announced the fact that she was home. Anyway, he’s moving to Dallas to be with his Dad. I think it’ll be good for him. He needs a strong male figure to look up to. And he has a lot of unresolved issues about his parent’s divorce and his stepfather. It’ll be good for him to spend some time with his real father. 

Anyway, I got tired of waiting and was going to leave her a note, but when I opened the door to Maria’s room I got an eyeful. Alex and her were on the bed, shirtless, and so I quickly shut the door and walked home without leaving a note. Although I guess Sean told her I dropped by, because she did call.

I never wanted to see either of them sans shirt. It’s an image I could have quite frankly lived without.

Anyway, at first I was really grossed out by the whole thing. Not because either Maria or Alex are disgusting, it just seemed weird that the two people I’d grown to think of as siblings were hooking up. But after a while I realized that they made a lot of sense together. And that they would be really good for one another. Alex would be the type of boyfriend Maria’s always wanted and Maria won’t treat Alex like shit.

So now I’m actually feeling kind of hurt because neither of them has seen fit to tell me what is going on between them. So now it’s me pretending I don’t know, while they pretend there is nothing to know. And all I really know is that it’s getting really confusing.

At least I can be real around Michael. Strike that. I don’t know if he knows about Alex and Maria either and what if he doesn’t and then he finds out and then he’s mad at me because I didn’t tell him. I don’t think I could handle Michael being mad at me. 

Things are weird enough between us. 

Ever since he left behind the drawing of me it’s been weird. I keep meaning to bring it up. But at first I didn’t because I didn’t think he wanted me to bring it up, and then I never found the right moment to bring it up and now it’s like this thing that’s festering. 

I waited too long and the moment is lost. 

If that becomes a theme in my life I am seriously going to consider kicking some alien butt. Probably starting with one Max Evans.

Did I mention he was going out with Tess? Oh yeah. My plan with Future Max finally bore fruit. And I’m gagging. 

I believe she bought him a black shirt sweater. As if he didn’t have enough of those already. He’s worse than Michael when it comes to wardrobe. At least Michael has some variety. Come to think of it…and it’s about damned time I realized this…Max is boring. 

Michael is so much more interesting…he’s unpredictable and daring and spontaneous…and I am going on and on about Michael???

I’ll tell you why I’m obsessing about Michael…we almost kissed. You know that thing in the movies where heads are close, breaths intermingle, you’re staring at the other person’s lips just wondering what they’ll taste like, what they’ll feel like once they brush up against yours…yeah…all of that…and Dad comes down the stairs and announces dinner is ready. 

Perfect timing. So things between Michael and me…not only were they weird with the whole drawing thing, now they’re weirder…and now I have all this added stress about Maria and Alex. Not to mention Max and Tess. Although I’m pretty sure he knows about that…it’ll be another thing we pretend the other doesn’t know. I hate that game. 

Oh. Right. I haven’t mentioned this. But lately he’s been over for dinner every night. Even when he doesn’t have to close the Crashdown with me. My parents love him. Which I think he likes but doesn’t completely understand. And I’m not sure why that is either, my parents hated Max, but I have to say Michael has made eating meals at my house so much easier. 

After dinner we always spend some time alone on my balcony. And we talk about things, or we just sit and hang out doing our own thing. It’s just so nice to be able to sit with him. I never realized how great he is just to be around; I think the bickering always overwhelmed me. 

At least we’ll still be able to talk about Kyle and Isabel--who have officially begun dating! The funny thing is that no one is surprised, except for the two of them. I mean we were all a little taken aback, but it just made sense. It’s cute to see them trying to figure it out. 

Kyle and I have been hanging out a lot; we’ve been practicing our powers, and talking about what it feels like to know that an alien has altered us. His issues with the whole thing have lessened, what with living with Tess and dating Isabel, but I think he likes to talk to me because we share the same perspective. 

The other day we were making fun of Max…I know it’s immature but it helps me deal…anyway I never noticed how much his shadow looks like an alien…seriously…he’s got those big old floppy ears and no shoulders, if it hadn’t been for those amazing pecs…ok not going there.

I wonder what Michael looks like sans shirt…he looks so built. 

What is the matter with me? 

He let me cry on his shoulder the other day. And I couldn’t get over how strong he was. Or how safe he made me feel. Like I’d finally come home after being lost for two years.

I’m going crazy.

It’s that kiss that wasn’t a kiss. 

I want to scream.

What would we have done had it happened?

What would we do if it did?

Sigh. The aliens finally did it. They made a madwoman out of me.

I wonder what I should wear. Michael will be here soon.

You see. Crazy. Maybe I’ll just drive Michael a little crazy myself.

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