simply taking it all in

where do we go from here i wonder? today's headlines are not the outcome i was hoping for. i think about where i was 24 hours ago, standing in line, excited to vote for our first woman president. and now, knowing that my vote wasn't enough. that racism and sexism and ignorance won the day yesterday.

i don't know how i feel about these things. i'm heartbroken. more than that even. i feel shredded. i always knew this outcome was a possibility. just because i couldn't imagine a world where donald trump was president, didn't mean others couldn't either. and obviously i surround myself with like-minded people, so i don't know or understand how anyone could be on the other side. i get that we all have different feelings and views of this country, but i thought we were better than what we got.

my dad would say that america got what it deserved. that this is what jerry springer and reality television and fox news and celebrity culture have wrought. and maybe he has a point. in the end, i guess i was an optimist. i was naïve.

and now? the way forward i think it to move onwards and upwards. if this is rock bottom, and i really hope it is, then we have nowhere else to go but up. i can take solace in that. and i can take solace in knowing that if things go to shit, then at least i did my part to try and avoid it.

and maybe i'll just have a little more wine please.

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