this could be an april fool's day post. and technically today is april fool's day. but the fools i'm talking about inhabit port charles. somedays i don't know why they are still around. after all "guiding light" -- the longest running soap -- was just canceled. gh has managed to hit a new threshold of terrible.
in list form, here is everything that is wrong with gh:
1. the now non-secret that claudia zacchara was behind michael's shooting
this particular terribleness (is that a word? if not it is a good descriptor for everything on gh lately) is compounded by
2. ric lansing's skeeviness
i mean ewww. do we need to see claudia prostituting herself? way to appeal to your viewers guza...i mean, isn't the average soap opera viewer a woman? what woman would want to watch ric blackmail claudia for sex? speaking of women viewers and what they don't want to see
3. robin's post partum depression
i'm sorry, i wouldn't have a problem with this storyline except that it has managed to bring out the robin scorpio that i detest, you know, the shrill, defensive, unreasonable one, and the patrick that is not hot, you know, the misogynistic, passive-aggressive, unreasonable one. also, why is it that robin can talk to sonny and jason and not to her own husband? and why has elizabeth suddenly become patrick's confidante? the actors have nice chemistry but i'm not ready to see elizabeth and patrick as a couple...though it seems that is where they are headed.
4. waste of the younger set
what the hell are they doing with johnny, maxie, matt, spinelli, lulu, ethan, winifred, etc. first of all, ethan and winifred could just exit the canvas and i'd be a much happier person. secondly, they've insinuated pairing maxie with johnny and matt, though she continues to talk about loving spinelli and not really acting on it in a consistent manner. she makes out with other guys randomly. could they just pick a guy and stick to that pairing? meanwhile, give lulu a storyline that doesn't revolve around a guy for once. i know this is a soap, but as a legacy character with interesting family relationships it might be better having a storyline that revolves around a family mystery rather than her wanting to keep a guy. cause it isn't really working for her.
5. random characters coming in and out of the canvas
the revolving door needs to stop. there is so much talent on gh. in fact that is one of the most frustrating things about the show, the waste of talent. rick hearst, megan ward, nancy lee grahn, greg vaughn, jason cook, leslie charleston, john ingle, jane elliot, becky herbst, that's a pretty impressive roster of talent. not one of them is involved in a storyline that does them justice.
6. mccall and jackal pi
7. jerry jacks is alive and well
seriously, why isn't he dead? and why would he send his brother a dvd with information he'd be better off not knowing? who does that? his rationale for sending jax the dvd makes no sense. seriously not one iota of sense.
8. rebecca and breast cancer scare
i wasn't watching gh when emily survived breast cancer. but i think it's a cheap shot if gh decides to rehash the same storyline with the same actress but a different character. although i do think that this is all going to lead to a helena cassidine plot reveal and that rebecca and emily are one and the same person. meanwhile, i'm creeped out by her interactions with nicholas. surprising me even more is that i actually enjoy her scenes more with lucky, of course, since lucky has just been dropped to recurring and this storyline seems to be moving front and center that doesn't seem to indicate that i will be getting a lot of lucky and rebecca. of course, there is also the fact that olivia is also recurring and she manages to get at least 10 scenes a week in, so well, maybe being dropped to recurring isn't such a bad thing.
9. nothing makes sense
i mean it. nothing this show does makes sense.
screencaps courtesy of laurieluvsliason.