Saturday, December 31, 2016

simply looking back at 2016

i don't know you guys. princess leia died. so did mr. seaver. and mrs. brady. and prince. and george michael. and bowie. and muhammed ali. and so many others. it's the circle of life right. people are born. people live their lives. and then they die. but this year the deaths cut a little deeper. it's like 2016 took the best cultural memories of my childhood and threw them in a disposal, shredded them to bits, so that i cling to crumbs, remembering what i can. holding on to the best moments. holding on to a piece of a song. 

personally, 2016 was fine. nothing particularly horrible happened to me personally. there was the summer of gossip which i quite enjoyed. but then. everything took a turn. 

the world has always been a place where light and dark co-exist. but in the fall, as the elections neared i felt that darkness creep in closer. and on november 8th, it felt like midnight. 

i will always remember sobbing in the shower that night. when i knew in my heart that what i hoped was impossible was true. that our country was doomed to call a man president trump, and that he was someone so unworthy. how could we deserve this as a country? how could so many people hate and believe that their hatred is something just? i am not a hateful person, i find it exhausting. even now i don't hate those people, but they scare me, they wound me. 

i keep hoping that our darkest days are behind us. but i have nothing to pin those hopes on. maybe it's just faith. 

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