after the bombshell revelation that the big boss in charge of lodge was hermoine, nothing more is said of the matter. and hiram is all businessy and head of the family and decides that archie should take veronica and betty and jughead away for the weekend.
which, for someone who seemed super duper conservative and, like, has these latino catholic sensibilities, hiram sending his young teenage daughter off for the weekend with her boyfriend just feels completely out of character.
anyway, when cheryl is excluded from this weekend away, she retaliates by outing the betty and archie kiss to jughead. this doesn't really upset him? and then veronica and jughead kiss to even things out and it's all good? i don't know you guys, they were drinking jalapeño margaritas so clearly they were impaired. they were all also having crazy amounts of sex.
meanwhile, kevin is having a horrible, no good, very bad day, but at least he's not going to australia? he does try to invite his former hook up who is currently dating a girl to love, simon, a movie directed by greg berlanti, who happens to be riverdale's showrunner. it's possibly the most unapologetic and obvious product placement trick ever, but you end up rolling with it because why not. anyway, kevin is told by josie that their parents are having an affair. and then they share a box of mints at the movie. cheryl and toni also meet at the movies, but it's not on purpose. when they go out for milkshakes later it seems like maybe there is something there.
and whatever it is, i'm all for it.
i'm glad riverdale is back, but this episode felt like a placeholder. and part of me wonders if it aired out of order, except that it didn't given the stuff with creepy chic (i didn't even get into this, you guys, he's sooooo creepy.) and like the continuity of all the lodge business stuff.
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