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something from the archives: chocolate velvet - part 2

it's totally weird that a couple of days ago i reviewed a new book from melinda metz, and here i am posting fanfic about her old books. life is weird sometimes.





Part 2

“Liz,” I say, this time my voice is pleading.

I can’t handle this if it’s only a game to her.

She bows her head, hides behind the silky length of her hair. Then she whispers, “Kyle, please. Trust me.”

I don’t think I’ve ever been this frightened before.

My hands clench convulsively around the steering wheel. My throat is suddenly parched and I have to swallow several times before I can speak, “Yes.”

Saying one word has never been so hard. It was barely a whisper. A growl. A gasp.

The unshakeable truth torn from my heart.

It was a shock to hear it said out loud.

I’ve known for a while now, that my feelings for Liz had never truly gone. But I hadn’t yet spoken them. I’d thought if they remained hidden in the back of my mind that I could continue to ignore them.

I should have known.

Shakespeare said it best: ‘the truth will out.’ There’s no avoiding it.

I glance at her, but she is still hiding behind the curtain of her dark hair.

And as I slow the van down to turn onto the exit ramp, I wonder how the silence will be broken.
It’s past time for a rest.

I pull into a parking spot. Far enough away from the lights of the all-night diner and gas station so as to not interrupt anyone’s sleep. Not that I have to worry much, those four sleep like the dead. If it weren’t for Liz and me we’d never make any headway at night.

I need to stretch my legs and get away from the tension that descended after my revelation.

As quietly as possible I slip out of the van and walk to the darkest corner of the parking lot. My hands are in my pocket and I’m staring up at the sky. I’d always thought that it was incomparably beautiful in deserts of New Mexico, but in the wilds of Montana it’s fucking amazing.

I tense as I feel her slip an arm around my waist before relaxing and drawing her body up against mine. My fingers tangle in the hair that drapes her shoulders and I absentmindedly play with it as I wait for her to speak.

“Montana’s beautiful,” she says.

I make a sound of agreement.

I’m not going to speak, not going to say anything about our conversation until she does.

It’s like there’s a pink elephant standing between us. And we can’t ignore it anymore, but it’s her fault we started talking about it in the first place.


“Dinner was wonderful Kyle. Thanks so much for inviting me.”

“I’m just glad you had a good time. I’m really happy you came.”

Kyle and Liz were walking down Main Street. It was nine o’clock and the town was decidedly less busy than it had been when they’d originally walked to the restaurant. 

“So do you have to get home now, or would you like to walk for a bit?” Kyle asked. 

“My curfew isn’t until ten-thirty, so we can walk for a while,” Liz answered.

Kyle let go of the breath he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding. Casually he dropped his hand to his side and brushed it against hers. 

Once.

Twice.

At the third time, their fingers instinctively curled around each other. And with shy smiles and clasped hands, they headed towards the park.

They talked very little. School wasn’t something they had in common. Nor did they share friends. But talking didn’t seem to be important. They were comfortable in the silence.

They sat at the swing set, holding hands and staring up at the stars.

“What would you wish?” Liz asked suddenly.

Kyle shrugged, “I guess…I guess I wish my mom was still here. You?”

Liz nodded soberly at him and bit her lip as she considered her reply. She wasn’t sure if he wanted her to be serious or funny. She knew how much his admission had cost him.

She chose to be just as honest. 

“I wish Rosa were still alive.”

Kyle tightened his grasp on her hand and pulled her closer. The chains of their swings clanging against each other for a moment. He tucked an errant strand of hair back behind her ear, before tracing the curve of her cheekbone, and gently pressing his lips to hers.

Understanding. 

Beyond their pain was such feeling. 

Emotions swirled in the moonlight, as they explored each other’s lips. 

When they parted Kyle looked up at the stars once more, “I should have wished that your curfew was at midnight.”

Liz laughed. Dispelling the heightened tension.

Kyle walked Liz home in the moonlight. Their hands clasped together tightly.


“What would you wish?” Liz asks. Her face turned towards the sky.

I guess she’s reminded of that night as well.

Of the many nights we shared looking up at the stars. Wishing for things that never really happened between us.

I wish for another impossibility.

“For a cabin in the mountains to call home. And for someone to share it with.”

“Anyone in particular?” she asks.

“You know the answer to that.”

“Kyle, why can’t we just go find one?”

“Find one what?”

“Let’s hitch a ride to the next town, I’m sure one of the truckers wouldn’t mind. Why don’t we build a life, something more than this constant running?”

I look into her eyes. For a moment I believe.

But it doesn’t last.

Nothing ever lasts.

“And what of the others?” I ask.

“They need to find their own way. Kyle, I know this sounds crazy. I know that you have no reason to trust me. No reason to believe that I want this. But over the last six months, I’ve learned a lot. Dreams never last. And the past three years feel like they have been one. And I’m just now waking up.”

“And if we do this? Isn’t this just another dream?” I asked my voice ragged with emotion. I have no idea what I want her to say.

My heart is afraid to believe that this could possibly be happening.

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