anyway you can read the third chapter after the break. if you need it here are links to chapters 1 and 2.
I’ve never spent so much time with humans in my life, than I have been forced to do in the past two weeks.
Strangely it wasn’t as bad as Nasedo used to make it sound.
I have a family now. Jim and Kyle, they care about me, they are my family. The way the Deluccas are a family. A little fucked up but real. I never realized how much I was missing out on with Nasedo. I never knew what being a family was.
All my life I’ve thought I’d find family when I found Max, Isabel, and Michael. But it took a group of humans to show me what being a family actually was. I guess I understand now why they are so tied to this place.
Kyle and I have outing privileges again. Finally.
Even though I’ve been I’ve been enjoying this family thing, it’s nice to know I can get away from it.
I really want to see Max. I know, I know. It’s sad. But I’ve missed him.
My entire life I’ve missed him.
Max is so boring.
I snuck out last night last night with Kyle. There was a party at the old soap factory.
Of course I didn’t tell Max anything. He’d just pull his “I’m the King and you shouldn’t be behaving irresponsibly act”. Have I mentioned how sick I am of his self-righteousness? We’re teenagers. We should be having fun.
Las Vegas reminded me of that. Spending time with that man, I realized that I have so much to do before I’m ready to be an adult. I want to have some fun. So I called Kyle. I mean I know what he dreams about, and that boy definitely knows what it is to be a teenager.
The party was awesome. I wore my black halter with the rhinestones decorating the front and my favorite pair of red leather pants. Kyle’s reaction when he saw me was priceless. It was kind of funny to see the guy who’s still freaked about belonging to the “I know an Alien” club react so positively. I felt beautiful.
The lights and music of the party are what dominate my memories. I think I danced the entire night with Kyle.
It’s kind of weird because after mingling a bit at the party my next memory is someone running their fingers through my hair and kissing me good night.
“Good night, Princess,” were the last words I heard. But I’m pretty sure Dad didn’t put me to sleep, because I wouldn’t be free to go out again tonight. And it wasn’t Max, because he would have been a jerk and not sweet if he had caught me out. But was it really Kyle? Or was I already dreaming?
Anyway I’m pretty sure I’ll be spending more time with Kyle. He’s about as mad at Max as I am.
Lord, if I have to spend one more evening chaperoning my mom and the Sheriff I’ll die.
Not that spending time with Tess, Kyle, and Sean hasn’t been fun.*
*Yeah. I know. Weird huh?
Anyway, so Alex and I have been working on a few songs. I’m so psyched. This is our latest. It’s called “All”; I think we should dedicate it to our fellow Czechoslovakians.
I feel so much
Every time my lips touch yours
It’s not enough
Because I want more
When you look
Into my eyes and see me
It’s not enough
Because I want more
I need to feel
What is within your heart
I need to know
What you hold within your soul
You’ve always held back
Hidden behind yourself
And I want more
I want it all
I want you
I want it all
-words by Maria Delucca, music by Alexander Whitman
I’ve realized that singing is all I want to do. Alex is really the only person who understands it. And supports it. Mom totally flipped out on me when I told her, geez I even had to give her some of my cedar oil.
But I’m in the band.
Even though they call me Yoko.
I’m the lead singer of the Whits!**
I even wrote out my Grammy acceptance speech.
Work has been crazy. With rehearsals and schoolwork and Valenti-Delucca family nights. I’ve barely had a moment to myself.
I haven’t even had the chance to tell Liz any of this.
I think things are over with Michael.
I haven’t been able to talk to him because Mom hates hearing the name Michael, even if it’s not Michael Guerin I’m referring to. In fact, she hates him more than the thought of me having a singing career. And if I were forced to make the choice between Michael and singing. I know the choice I’d make.
Singing makes me happy.
Everything with Michael is so complicated. It’s such a struggle to get him to be there for me emotionally. I want so much more than he can give.
**Alex just called we have a gig Friday. I may have to cut off my left arm to get my mom to let me go. But oh my God! We’ve got a gig!!!!
I should have known that alcohol made aliens act loopy.
I got Isabel Evans drunk last night.
I swear it was completely accidental.
I got every Roswell High guy’s wet dream drunk last night accidentally. Even I don’t buy it.
I just didn’t think a sip would be all it took.
She looked amazing. Wearing some shirt with sparkly things, her breasts, I mean her figure looked…
Buddha says I should practice abstinence. Well let’s just say I wasn’t feeling like abstaining when I saw Isabel. I always thought she was hot, but never thought I’d have a chance with her. But we danced all night. I couldn’t let her out of my sight. Especially since she was drunk. It was like the Ice Princess was gone, and instead there was this fun, warm person grinding with me.
Blame it on the alcohol, right? But I think she had fun too.
The trouble I went to sneaking her back home was totally worth it.
I just sat with her, threading my fingers through her hair. She has amazing hair, it’s really soft. So I kissed her good night and left.
Max caught me while I was leaving. Asked me what the hell I was up to. So I said the first thing that came to mind.
Isabel is so going to zap me with her death ray.
I told him Isabel and I were secretly dating.
I think we have a date tonight.
I’m so zapped.
I think I’ve finally figured out why Michael hates to play Monopoly with Isabel. She cheats.
I should have figured that out ages ago, but in my defense she’s really sneaky about it. Mom and Dad don’t have a clue.
Today Iz and I get our freedom back.
And as much as I love my parents I can’t wait.
Things between Liz and me look like they’re finally going to change for the better. I saw a flicker in her eyes when I told her about the flash. For a moment it felt so real. I know that I want to get back to that again.
I think we might be able to move forward. Get back our relationship to what it once was.
Right. Michael would say I have my head in the clouds.
Not only has she been spending time with Sean Delucca, but also she slept with Kyle.
We won’t be able to move forward until I forget that.
But how do I forget?
Oh and the weirdest thing happened last night. I caught Kyle leaving Izzy’s room. What the hell is going on with them?
What is up with Kyle? How is he with all the women in my life? But if they’re really dating, then maybe I do have a chance with Liz. It shouldn’t be too hard to convince Liz I’m a much better catch than Sean.
I love her.
Why isn’t that enough?
Why is it that all the women in my life are just friends?
Isabel couldn’t risk making herself vulnerable. So she stuck me on the friendship shelf.
I adored her. I made a fool of myself for her. I allowed myself to be treated like shit.
So when I went to Sweden I found someone new. Someone who wouldn’t stick me on the friendship shelf. But Leanna did. Only she at least waited until I was across the Atlantic.
Lately I’ve been spending time with Maria.
And I’m afraid I’m stuck on the shelf.