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simply business - some of my query box pet peeves

i've been a literary agent for over a year, and reading inbox queries for over two years. authors do a lot of things that start things off poorly. i mean, listen, every agent is different and will find different things annoying or off-putting. but since i'm making a concerted effort to get my query inbox under control, i have a lot of time to stew about this.

ergo, i'm just going to share some of my pet peeves because i need to vent about this somewhere.


1. not following submission guidelines

listen all agents have their own set of guidelines. some want the first ten pages, some want only the synopsis, some want one chapter, some want three, some want the pages attached in a word document, some want the pages attached as a pdf, some don't want any attachments at all! i get it. it's confusing and maddening.

and yet, if you are taking the time to query an agent because you think they'd be a good fit for your work, take the time to follow their instructions. it's really not that hard, and that extra bit of effort engenders so much goodwill.

2. not in my genre

most agents and editors are looking for work in specific genres. some have broader scopes than others, mine is actually fairly narrow. but it doesn't matter what i list, because i still get submissions that range from nonfiction to children's picture books. it's easy to think, why does genre really matter? but it does. here's why: most agents have a network of editorial contacts, they likely read in the genres they represent so they know what's selling, and they know how to position manuscripts competitively if they know the genre well.

my favorite is when people try making their square peg fit into my specific genre holes. "there are two random people who have a romantic relationship in my story." ok, fine. but i represent romance, where the central plot needs to revolve around the relationship. "oh, my story has a love story but everyone dies." guess what, it's also not a romance.

if you aren't sure how to define your manuscript, there are all sorts of resources that will help you ask the questions you need to ask in order to define what genre it falls in. do that, and read the agent's profiles and make sure your work fits into the scope of what they are looking for. that extra bit of homework will go a long way.


3. clearly forwarding an old query letter

my partner at the agency was closed to submissions, while i remained open. i cannot tell you how many people wrote a query to her, received our bounceback, and immediately queried me. she and i are actually looking for different things. we have a slight overlap in young adult, but the kind of fiction that appeals to her is different than the one that appeals to me and our manuscript wishlists actually do make this clear.

taking no actual time to consider whether i am really the right match for your work is actually really frustrating. the worst was actually when authors would forward the exact query they used for the other agent, one that they'd personalized, and send it on without personalizing it further. listen, i understand that it takes time and effort to write these query emails. but if you've already come so far, why half-ass it at the end? even if your query was appropriate to me, what you say by doing that is that i don't matter. if my time doesn't matter to you, then why would i want you as a client? the author–agent relationship should be a partnership.

4. not having completed a manuscript

i am not an agent who accepts things on proposal, especially if i've never read an author's work before. don't email me to ask if you have a good idea. or ask me before you've put pen to paper whether or not i have advice to give on your manuscript proposal. i am not an editorial service. yes, i work with my authors on editing and developing their projects, but i don't do this with joe schmoe off the street.


5. typos

listen, it happens to us all. but at the very least, spell my name, the title of your book, and your name correctly in your message. and not just in the body, the subject line of your email should be checked for typos too. this is the first chance you have to make an impression. get my name right and you are ahead of the curve, get it wrong and i'll certainly forgive you, but i probably won't forget it, and you've already got one strike against you. why do that to yourself?

6. not following submission guidelines

i can't say this enough, and basically, every single one of my pet peeves comes back to this. if you don't take the time to read and review and follow my submission guidelines, then don't bother submitting your query. if you are serious about wanting to develop a relationship with me as an agent, then following the submission guidelines listed on the website and reading up on my manuscript wish list should be easy enough to do.


at the end of the day, there will always be some queries that can only be categorized as wackadoodle. i often want to talk about those because they are so crazy and kind of hilarious, but i also don't want to be mean or belittle anyone, so i don't. but these are more amusing than annoying. annoying is when someone who might have a perfectly good manuscript fails to follow my guidelines and i have to decide whether or not i love the manuscript enough to overlook that kind of carelessness.

don't put me in that position, follow the guidelines.

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